翻譯 11' Tony Award Opening

"Not Just for Gays Anymore" by Neil Patrick Harris 翻譯

11' Tony Award Opening

[NPH]
晚安，各位晚安，我是青少年偶像殺手Neil Patrick Harris。很榮幸再度主持第65屆東尼獎頒獎典禮，在此我想對萬分重視這個圈子的各位傳遞一個非常重要的訊息。


[music]
If you've seen a show, then you already know how magical theater can be
如果你已經看過一場百老匯秀，那你一定知道舞台的驚人效果
It's a two hour, live-action, barely affordable, up-lip-synced version of Glee
它基本上就是個兩小時真人演出，一點也不經濟實惠又對嘴的歡樂合唱團
So this song goes out to the rest of you
所以這首歌是獻給其他人
Those who've never seen theater before
那些從來沒踏進過戲院的
Because Broadway has never been broader
因為百老匯的內容從來千遍一律
It's not just for gays anymore
它將不再是替同志量身打造


If you feel like someone that this world excludes
如果你覺得自己被世界排除在外
It's no longer only for dudes who like dudes
它也不再只上演哥們愛哥們的戲碼
Attention every breeder, you're invited to the theater
因為它面面俱到，而你受邀其中
It's just for gays anymore
它不再是替同志量身打造
The glamour of Broadway is beckoning straights
百老匯的魔力正向這些直男們招手
The people who marry in all fifty states
這些在50州皆可合法結婚的人
We're asking every hetero to get to know us better
我們希望異性戀者能多了解我們一些
It's not just for gays anymore
它將不再是替同志量身打造


It's for fine, upstanding Christians, who know all the songs from Grease
它是給那些會唱<Grease>所有歌曲，傑出又優秀的基督徒們
It's for sober-minded businessmen who yearn for some release
它是給那些渴望突破，表面上沉著穩重的商人們
So, put down your Playboy and go make a plan, 
所以，放下你手中的花花公子然後開始計畫
to pick up a Playbill and feel like a man
去Playbill取門票並且像個男人些
There's so much to discover with your different gender lover
那裡有好多東西等著你跟你的異性愛人挖掘
It's not just for gays, the gays and Jews.
它不單單只為了同志，同志們與猶太人 
And cousins in from out of town you have to amuse
還有你那遠道而來的表兄弟得好好安慰
And the sad, embittered malcontents who write the reviews
還有那些可憐兮兮，專寫時報評論的憤世忌俗者
And also foreign tourists
還有外國來的遊客
And the beats of senior citizens and well-to-do suburbanites and liberal intellectuals
還有那群講不完的老頭子跟有錢的鄉巴佬還有開闊大方的高知識份子們
Though that group is really only Jews and homosexuals
儘管這個圈子好像只有猶太人跟同性戀者
I've lost my train of thoughts
而我已經忘了我接下來的台詞
Oh yes, it's not just for gays anymore
噢耶，它不再是專替同志量身打造


[NPH] 
知道我在講什麼了嗎？謝謝各位。


[NPH]
哇喔…你可以聞到在座充斥著睪丸酮的氣息，沒有嗎？看看這個地方！全部都是異性戀。Angela Lansbury，你超正，這是真的嗎？Stephen Colbert，你就跟其他人一樣的正，有沒有任何感想？


[Stephen Colbert]
I enjoy the theater. I've enjoyed it all my life. I enjoy it with my female woman wife. 
我愛百老匯，我愛它愛了一輩子，我愛它就跟我家的老婆大人一樣多。


[NPH]
幹得好，Stephen，看看這個地方，全都是直男。James Earl Jones是直男，Vanessa Redgrave你也是，Joe Mantello…謝謝你能來。Kristy Brinkley，真不可思議。Brooke Shields，你真是超級火辣，你讓我深深相信自己曾經當了23年的直男，任何想法？


[Brooke Shields]
When I'm up on stage, there's a lens you watch...I'm gonna try that again
當我站在臺上面對鏡頭…我要重來。


[NPH]
5, 6, 7, 8


[Brook Shields]
When I'm up on stage, there are...I don't know what I'm doing. Oh my god. There's a lot...When I'm up on stage, there's lots of men who like to watch. In fact, one guy sent a Twit-pic of his crotch. 
當我站在臺上那裡有著…我不知道我在幹嘛，天啊太多了。當我站在臺上，有很多男人愛看，而事實上有個男的放了一張他褲襠的照片在推特上。


[NPH]
太棒了。超級經典的即興發揮。怎麼了Bono？你看，你在百老匯感覺就像回家一樣，看看其他人。Al Pacino…你太有名了不算在這個圈子內。嘿看誰在這裡，Bobby Cannavale，來，想說什麼？5, 6, 7, 8. 


[Bobby Cannavele]
Broadway touches parts of me that never have been touched. I love it very *beep* much. 
百老匯教導了我生命中從未學習的一面，我愛你們這些渾球們（消音）。


[NPH]
說的好，棒極了不是？


[music]
We've got swarms of Mormons, showgirls, sailors, dancing boys and nuns
我們這裡有一群摩門教徒、秀場女孩、水手、舞男甚至還有修女
Plus a spider facing, death defying, budget over runs
外加一個無懼死亡，極將面臨欠債的蜘蛛人
So people from Red states and people from Blue
所以共和黨人也好，民主黨人也罷
A big Broadway rainbow is waiting for you
一個巨大的百老匯版本彩虹旗織正在前方等著你
Come in and be inspired, there's no sodomy required
快來這裡啟發靈感，雜交派對不含在內
Cause it's not just for gays, it's not just for gays
因為這不單只為了同志，不單單只為了同志
We'd be twice as proud to have you if you go both ways
要是你橫跨兩界我們會更愛你
Broadway is not just for gays anymore
百老匯不再是替同志量身打造




1. Neil Patrick Harris尼爾派翠克哈里斯（b. 1973），63屆與65屆東尼獎主持人，電視界與百老匯兩棲的活躍人物。最著名的角色之一是飾演電視影集How I Met Your Mother（老爸老媽的羅曼史）的Barney Stinson。他也因為客串Glee的Bryan Ryan而拿下艾美獎的最佳喜劇客串獎。我則是從平常閱覽的tumblr認識他，那件閃亮顯眼的紫色亮片裝，God。


2. Brook Shields真容易笑場。


3. 縱使如此，當初是因為聽說Jim Parsons也出現其中所以才找來看的，在5:42的地方，金鋼狼先生的後面。旁邊坐的是他的伴侶Todd Spiewak。


4. NPH是不折不扣的魔術狂與華特迪士尼的信徒，他替California Adventure裡頭的雲霄飛車"Screamin''"配音（說真的，坐上去的時候誰會記得開導詞？不過跟各位保證，它跟隔壁的一點也不Fun Wheel比起來簡直和譪可親過了頭）。


5. 恭喜紐約通過同志結婚法案，並希望不要重蹈加州的覆轍。